Over-kill of parenting analysis?
A couple of months after my daughter's birth, a very close friend who lives in the US and was in India on holiday met me and asked if I intended on breastfeeding my child up until the age of 5. I was quite unaware then that such a simple question would be the object of long discussions and would turn into a point of debate sometime soon in the States. I considered it a non-issue, the prerogative of such a decision should largely rest on the mother, and whenever she would deem fit, she should discontinue was what I believed. My friend then told me about the huge debate and hoopla being made about attachment parenting and nursing the child till the age of 4. I waved it aside and we moved on to other topics. I had forgotten all about it, till I chanced upon the recent Time Magazine's cover photo in one of the newspapers, that has made Jamie Lynne Grumet one famous mom in the US. She is the lady who appeared on Time Magazine's cover that focussed on attachment parenting.
The magazine cover provoked strong reactions from across the country even as it raised the age old debate on parenting and the best age to wean kids from breastfeeding. From debates about the controversial picture of Grumet feeding her three year old son was tasteless (since the boy is shown feeding standing up) or whether it pushes the boundaries of cover designing, to whether the whole idea of extended breastfeeding after the age of 2, is an attempt at making motherhood itself seem like a competition, to the effect of the magazine cover on the little boy in the picture after he grows up.
Some even called the cover a stoke of genius for the amount of attention it garnered and even provoked a few people to term attachment parenting as 'extreme parenting'.
My initial reaction to the cover and the whole issue was like, "ok, so?" I guess in India, everyone knows somebody or has a relation who knew somebody who was breastfed till the age of 5, maybe that is why we are not that squeamish when it comes to the subject of breast-feeding. Many who reacted strongly to the cover image, did not focus on the fact that the magazine issue was essentially about Dr Bill Sears, an 'attachment parenting guru' and the celebration of 20 years of propagating the suppossed 'ideal parenting method'. But the issue made me wonder on why has parenting become such an issue these days? Why do we see every two months or fortnight for that matter, someone in the United States raise issues that concern different ideas and methods of parenting? Or alternatively has parenting always been an important aspect that somehow India or Indians refuse to reflect on it, because they are busy with other issues? I could simply attribute the over emphasis on parenting in the US, to their penchant for analysing everything in detail, which in itself could be a good thing, but there is something called as 'over kill' as well.
Traditional methods of parenting, (now of course is open to all kinds of observations and analysis), was the way it was, because then parents were busy running the home and earning for their livelihood for them to focus on issues of 'co-sleeping'(of sleeping in the bed with parents) or 'baby wearing' (carrying babies in slings as opposed to using strollers/prams). Lessons on the best ways to raise your child was simply passed on from one generation to another through families. There was no book or google to consult. Somehow that age actually seems a blessing. Now the problem is we know more, but understand and actually internalise precious little. To nurse your child post the mandatory age of 6 months, should ideally rest solely at the discretion of the child's parents, particularly the mother, is what I reckon, makes complete practical sense. So I guess the debates over what works and what doesnt simply seems like a 'you say PotAto and PoTAto' line, it is easily a case of whatever works for you.
The magazine cover provoked strong reactions from across the country even as it raised the age old debate on parenting and the best age to wean kids from breastfeeding. From debates about the controversial picture of Grumet feeding her three year old son was tasteless (since the boy is shown feeding standing up) or whether it pushes the boundaries of cover designing, to whether the whole idea of extended breastfeeding after the age of 2, is an attempt at making motherhood itself seem like a competition, to the effect of the magazine cover on the little boy in the picture after he grows up.
Some even called the cover a stoke of genius for the amount of attention it garnered and even provoked a few people to term attachment parenting as 'extreme parenting'.
My initial reaction to the cover and the whole issue was like, "ok, so?" I guess in India, everyone knows somebody or has a relation who knew somebody who was breastfed till the age of 5, maybe that is why we are not that squeamish when it comes to the subject of breast-feeding. Many who reacted strongly to the cover image, did not focus on the fact that the magazine issue was essentially about Dr Bill Sears, an 'attachment parenting guru' and the celebration of 20 years of propagating the suppossed 'ideal parenting method'. But the issue made me wonder on why has parenting become such an issue these days? Why do we see every two months or fortnight for that matter, someone in the United States raise issues that concern different ideas and methods of parenting? Or alternatively has parenting always been an important aspect that somehow India or Indians refuse to reflect on it, because they are busy with other issues? I could simply attribute the over emphasis on parenting in the US, to their penchant for analysing everything in detail, which in itself could be a good thing, but there is something called as 'over kill' as well.
Traditional methods of parenting, (now of course is open to all kinds of observations and analysis), was the way it was, because then parents were busy running the home and earning for their livelihood for them to focus on issues of 'co-sleeping'(of sleeping in the bed with parents) or 'baby wearing' (carrying babies in slings as opposed to using strollers/prams). Lessons on the best ways to raise your child was simply passed on from one generation to another through families. There was no book or google to consult. Somehow that age actually seems a blessing. Now the problem is we know more, but understand and actually internalise precious little. To nurse your child post the mandatory age of 6 months, should ideally rest solely at the discretion of the child's parents, particularly the mother, is what I reckon, makes complete practical sense. So I guess the debates over what works and what doesnt simply seems like a 'you say PotAto and PoTAto' line, it is easily a case of whatever works for you.
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